Tuesday, March 29, 2011

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow - Proverb

It is spring in Southern California...you wouldn't know it by the crazy amount of rain that we've had lately but this week we will finally break into the 80's and it's going to be beautiful. With the change of seasons, comes so many things that I love...flowers, gardening, bike rides. It's a very poingnant time of change, because my life seems to be in a season of change as well...but then again, when isn't life such a place. My home, my little cottage that I have grown to love and cherish, is being sold so I must find a new home. At first I was disappointed, because I am not a fan of the unexpected, but the disappointment quickly faded and turned into an unexplainable excitement. I am really taking the time to sit and evaluate my life, my finances and my choices. I am looking for a place to live for a few years while I put some 'Dave Ramsey' advice into action...and ultimately look forward to being debt-free.

Spiritually, I am in a time of personal renaissance. I had been experiencing what I defined as a "faith crisis" for several years and was at a loss for words to articulate what was going on inwardly. I knew that God and I were good...but for some reason, my heart remained unsettled. I realized through lots of prayer, while reading and studying scripture...that my problem never was with God...but with certain beliefs about God. Separating what I've been taught, from what I know and believe. Finding comfort in the "I don't know"s and erring on the side of grace and love until I do know. Accepting that I may never know "for sure" and leaving that in God's hands. I have grown closer to Him as I've come to know who He is...and who He isn't. Establishing my personal theology has been tough, but the rewards are so liberating. I no longer carry the burden of trying to prove that I'm a Christian to myself or others. I am accepted and loved and want to offer that to others.

As I look forward to new things and new opportunities, I am so thankful. I can sit and list so many things that I'd like to change or that I think God should change...but truthfully the list of blessings in my life are so much longer. My relationships with family have healed and are growing. My friends continue to be pillars of strength for me and a constant source of laughter and love that truly mends my soul. My son is healthy and growing into the man he is meant to be. Sigh. My face carries a smile today.

Moving on...

In other news, I spent some time crafting last night and made a cute little Easter pin....the picture is horrible but I think you get the jist...

Yup...it's a bunny butt :)

1 comment:

  1. Awe Michelle, glad to hear ur in a better place...AND I LOVE THE BUNNY BUNS. HEHEHEHHE SERIOUSLY LOVE THEM. =0)